just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
