apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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