Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
