sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
