STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
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"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
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12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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