so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
