So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
