Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
