I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
