my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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