God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
