Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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