"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I stole a fireplace last night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
