i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
