First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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