Just mADE A PArabola og urine
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
