Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
