I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
