Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
