Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
