i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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