I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
