pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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