How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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