Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
This is the high leading the old right now
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The feeling are messing with the penis
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
