exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
