How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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