Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Where did you get a picture of my penis
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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