oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
