I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
