first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
