i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
