The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
