her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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