Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
