Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
