I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
