please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
