Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs

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  (303): i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs http://tfl.nu/68oq
  Replies (21) Good night (4267) Bad night (1181)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...

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  (902): he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style... http://tfl.nu/4o8k
  Replies (21) Good night (1924) Bad night (7583)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"

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  (603): You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!" http://tfl.nu/jokx
  Replies (9) Good night (5005) Bad night (928)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful

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  (816): Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful http://tfl.nu/oafq
  Replies (19) Good night (7350) Bad night (1048)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.

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  (402): Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then. http://tfl.nu/941i
  Replies (24) Good night (5054) Bad night (1131)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time

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  (816): peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time http://tfl.nu/fl0l
  Replies (6) Good night (1881) Bad night (1344)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time

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  (218): I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time http://tfl.nu/ndy7
  Replies (7) Good night (2786) Bad night (1028)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.

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  (920): fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome. http://tfl.nu/la0v
  Replies (5) Good night (2873) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.

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  (503): She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze. http://tfl.nu/rdoy
  Replies (3) Good night (861) Bad night (1191)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm on the struggle bus

  (847): View more from Illinois

  just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers

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  (847): I'm on the struggle bus (847): just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers http://tfl.nu/5dpp
  Replies (4) Good night (1386) Bad night (503)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.

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  (772): I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison. http://tfl.nu/yxd5
  Replies (2) Good night (946) Bad night (475)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.

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  (859): So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara. http://tfl.nu/jqcr
  Replies (13) Good night (867) Bad night (1435)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.

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  (304): Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed. http://tfl.nu/uiwu
  Replies (4) Good night (1067) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control

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  (541): the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control http://tfl.nu/apyu
  Replies (1) Good night (469) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.

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  (613): You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse. http://tfl.nu/8ufz
  Replies (4) Good night (669) Bad night (265)

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