My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.