Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no