i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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