it was like his penis was on wheels.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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