Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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