Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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