Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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