I just pynch a tree in the face
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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