hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
