I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
