Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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