Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
