ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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