and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
