i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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