i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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