We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
