He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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