"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
