it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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