My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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