Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
