can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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