i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i now understand why vodka
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
