I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
