well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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